A Tribute To French Women

Being somewhat desperate in my search for a reason, any reason, to further put off some boring domestic tasks I need to attend to, I watched a video on youtube with Melissa Theuriau. I then decided a good way to further put off those domestic tasks would be to write this blog post, inspired by that video.

Melissa, to my mind, is an icon of French women. I can't claim to know her personally - though I wouldn't mind becoming acquainted - but for economic reasons I'll speak as if I'm actually speaking of her and ask you, the reader, to keep in mind I'm really just talking about my image of her. Then again that's probably what we do most of the time anyway...

In this video she talked about organ donorship and appears to wear very little makeup. I'm in little doubt this is due to careful planning as the effectiveness of her message is well served by appearing more as we might imagine she'd look in private, as if she spoke to us personally in confidence. And that is quite characteristic of French women: Great attention to detail, and polished presentation.

Melissa is smart, warm, beautiful, interesting, sexy, and above all has that seductive quality that I think comes from her sense of style - pure class - that I find symbolic of French women in general. French women have near perfected the art of seduction as far as I can tell (which isn't nearly as far as I'd like to, by the way), and make an effort to emphasize their best features as well as minimize any they may possess that are less flattering. I'm not simply talking about clothes or make-up here, but of how to walk, how to talk, how to sit or be seated or get up... how to behave oneself in the most pleasing way possible.

Of course I am simplifying the matter in the extreme, and there are of course French women who do not think it very important to always be pleasing, or set out with a particular intent of pleasing others. And to be honest I have ambivalent feelings about the idea itself. It strikes me as somewhat manipulative and potentially sinister. (Perhaps this comes from the feeling of powerlessness that I experience in the presence of such women.) Being pleasant can also come into conflict with being honest and authentic, or even helpful, kind, or useful. Maybe I'll want to write my heart out about those matters another time, but today I want to indulge in a little one-sidedness in order to express my admiration of French women. :)

In reality all of us, in any culture, constantly strike compromises between these at times conflicting values, and for the most part we do so without giving it any conscious thought at all. Most of us would not as openly share our true feelings or opinions about things in a job interview or on a first date as we would in private conversation with a close friend. But the typical compromise of one culture can be quite different from that of another, and compared to my native Norwegian culture there is no doubt in my mind that the French, and especially the women, place far greater importance on being pleasing in every way - to look at, to speak to, to smell, and so on.

Those French women who are the very best at this, such as Melissa Theuriau, are inspiring to me. Being charming has value in itself, but more importantly it is an effective means to ultimately more important ends, such as kindness or usefulness. It isn't always kind to say the most pleasing things to people. It may sometimes lead them to disastrous decisions that make them worse off in the long term, in ways far more powerful than the displeasure of being hurt or offended by an honest expression of feeling or opinion. But it is always kind to make an effort to express such feelings or opinions in the most pleasant way possible that will still be clearly understood.

I don't know that I'm any good at striking the right compromise between clarity, truthfulness and guarding the feelings of others, but I am more mindful of it now than when I first came to France. It may be that this is simply a normal part of maturing; I was 25 when I came here and am soon turning 34. But I like to think that French women and their hypnotic effect on me had something to do with it as well. For that, and for all the pleasure that French women have contributed to this period of my life, I would like to pay tribute!

Vive les femmes françaises!